Gamefly Away With Me...

By Barffly79

E-Commerce and a hard economy are bringing some harsh realities home for brick and mortar rental outfits. Blockbuster all but did away with its competition only to find itself under assault from online rental services. The rental giant has closed hundreds of stores, and Netflix and Gamefly seem to be gaining popularity every day. They’re the wave of the future, and I decided I would see where the Gamefly tide would take me. As it happens, the luxury liner of game rental awesomeness is turning out to be more like a stingy yuppie’s yacht. Yes, this is going to be a rant against Gamefly. Sit back, and enter the mind of a pissed off consumer with an overdeveloped vocabulary and underutilized imagination. Buyer beware. And since this is free…….well, take what you want from it…….

When I started upon this romance, it was a torrid, passionate affair with frequent trysts and secretive midnight liaisons. I would come home from work, heart aflutter, waiting to find the glorious and luminous brilliance of that square, white envelope in my mailbox. Upon its arrival, I would open it and embrace the sweet dance of discovery. As I opened the tray to my 360, I would beam in gratitude at the wonderful, cheap, gaming goodness that Gamefly afforded me. The quintessential casual gamer, I had long looked for means to play titles that hovered above my reach. I no longer felt scoffed at by titles that carried unwarranted 60 dollar price tags. I cherished the pleasure of not having to pay dearly for single-player sagas like Metro 2033 or cornball crap like Bayonetta. Alas, I was glad, and upon getting my hard-earned, tightly spent dollar, Gamefly was glad. She smiled a particularly predatory and ominous leer upon me when I upgraded my plan to two games a month. I reasoned, “The first two months went so well, with so many moments to be had together. I shall spend more money, and multiply the pleasure.”

Then I sat, and I sat, wading through my queue. Having tasted the fruit of catching up on older games, I ventured into the frothy and spacious main of new and current titles. Spectacular survival horror and innovative shooters were on my horizon; untapped realms of imagination, wrought from the fires of previous developers’ triumphs. I have heard of the greatness that lay beyond my grasp, and it saddens me to see it taunting me beyond the horizon.

Alan Wake, I yearn for thee. You have been at the top of my queue since your release, but I have yet to sink my soul into your inky dark. Twice you were AVAILABLE NOW, and twice I was thwarted by dusty titles from the forgotten past. Each time my tray closed on Wolfenstein when it could have been for you, I felt a cruel infidelity had occurred. Injustice is real, and your absence from my repertoire of games is the proof.

Singularity, you are not Half-Life. But I hear you are close. And like the long-lost perfume of a forgotten lover, I crave the familiar comfort you could provide. For certain, I care not for your multi-player. If I desire to be impugned by short-hairless scalawags, I shall visit the local video arcade or become a middle school teacher in the Bronx. Yet I have spoken to those who have basked in your single-player goodness. You promise to take me to a timeless place, where once again the sweaty feel of the controller stands as the last barrier between reality and being lost in your awesomeness. And yet you are lost, lost in my queue…..


Gamefly..."Oh Lordy what to do when the romance been gone…"